Why do we have cats? I have no idea what it is about them, but they simply HATE me! Every cat I have ever known has hated me with a passion. They hiss at me. Try to bite me. Purposefully look at me in a most disrespectful "I hate you, scumball" glance. Won't come and play, but just mock me with those "YOU go and get the ball, stupid" look when I throw it for them.One of my very first memories in life is having my arms completly scratched up by a mad cat who didn't like me playing with it. To this day, I still have no idea what is wrong with the game "Pull the Cat's Tail Really, Really Hard." Why can't we all pass a UN resolution to just simply rid the entire planet of the things... I mean, if we live in such a civil society that we can vote out Pluto as a planet, create a coffeemaker that grinds AND brews our coffee, couldn't we figure out a way to have a catless society?
The best post EVER on the internet is from my friend Rebekah. Someone has to go to the powers that be and make this happen. We need an international relief effort to rid ourselves of this cancer.
I have the same problem in our neighborhood that Rebekah has. Cats everywhere. Breeding to make more cats. Thinking they own the place, especially all of my potted plants as their personal Port-a-Potty. Fighting with one another in the streets at 200dbs this past summer on a bi-weekly basis...(I'm serious, it's LOUD at 2am! I thought someone was being mugged in front of my house).For all of those who love cats, let me just say this: your cat is fine - it's the rest of the entire world that I would like to root them out of. Yours are neat, playful and fun. The rest are pure evil.
3 comments:
As someone once said: If your cat were big enough, it would eat you. I don't care if you saved it from a fire as a kitten, raised it up yourself, and have had it for 20 years. It would eat you given half a chance.
Laura is right. Cats are good evidence of demonic possession -- which may be why they hate you so much, Steve. But, before you loan out a shotgun, remember the poor school administrator in Northern Minnesota? All he did was shoot kittens. Now he has no job and a court date coming up.
WHAT?! it's illegal to shoot cats?!?! oh dear.
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